Individual Worth & The Eternal Family

One thing I think is important before talking about Eternal Families is knowing who we are and knowing about our divine origins. 

Bishop H. Burke Peterson has said:

“One of the greatest challenges is to overcome the feeling that we are unimportant, that we are not special and unique. Do you think for a moment that Heavenly Father would have sent one of His children to this earth by accident, without the possibility of a significant work to perform? …"

**My favorite Disney movie is The Lion King and it has a lot of symbolism in it that parallels with the gospel. 

In the movie, after Simba's father is killed, he runs away and grows up away from home. After Simba's best friend from childhood, Nala, finds him while hunting for food, she insists that he has to come back home. Simba, however, tells her over and over again that he cannot come back. He still feels guilt for causing his father's death, a notion that his Uncle Scar put into his head when he was just a small cub.

It is after this event that one of the most influential parts of the movie takes place. Simba is all alone on the African plains and speaks out loud to his father,  “You said you’d always be there for me, but you’re not, and it’s my own fault.”  He hangs his head and is feeling hopeless. This is when Rafiki, the mandrill baboon, comes along. Simba asks, “Who are you?” To which Rafiki answers, “The question is, WHO are you?” And Simba says, “I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure.” Rafiki tells Simba that he knows who Simba is, that he is Mufasa's son and that Mufasa is alive and that he knows where he is. Rafiki leads Simba to a small body of water, in which Simba peers over the edge, only to find that he sees a reflection of himself in the water. He sighs and says, “That’s not my father. It’s just my reflection.” Rafiki responds while pointing…”No….look harder….” Simba looks again. Rafiki says, “You see…he lives in YOU.” Then Simba has an experience where he sees his father… “Simba, you have forgotten me….” his father says. “No…how could I?” Simba responds. And then Mufasa says one of the most profound things in the entire movie… “You have forgotten who you are and so forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are MORE than what you have become. Remember who you are. You are my son. Remember who you are.”  And then he disappears…** Doesn't that sound like something our Father in Heaven might say to us? “You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me. Look inside yourself, You are MORE than what you have become. Remember who you are. You are my son, or you are my daughter. You are my child. Remember who you are.” Robert D. Hales said in his talk The Eternal Family, "From the earliest beginnings, God established the family and made it eternal. Adam and Eve were sealed in marriage for time and all eternity: “And thus all things were confirmed unto Adam, by an holy ordinance, and the Gospel preached, and a decree sent forth, that it should be in the world, until the end thereof; and thus it was” (Moses 5:59).  “And Adam knew his wife, and she bare unto him sons and daughters, and they began to multiply and to replenish the earth” (Moses 5:2). My favorite quote from Elder Hales' talk is,  "The eternal nature of our body and our spirit is a question often pondered by those who live in mortality. All people who will ever live on earth are members of a human family and are eternal children of God, our loving Heavenly Father. After birth and tasting of death in mortality, all will be resurrected because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, the Only Begotten Son of God the Father. Depending on our individual obedience to the laws, ordinances, and commandments of God, each mortal can have the blessing of attaining eternal life; that is, returning to live in the presence of their Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, having eternal increase for all the eternities to come. Through making and keeping the sacred covenants found in the temple ordinances, individuals can return to the presence of God and will be reunited with their families eternally."'  My eternal family is so important to me. I am so grateful that my parents were worthy to marry in the temple, for time and all eternity, and that my sister and I were able to be born into that covenant. Taking this course has made me better appreciate my own family. I have loved learning about how to strengthen family relationships. I have also enjoyed learning techniques and gathering ideas that I can use in my own future family one day.

The Sanctity of Human Life

"Human life is a sacred gift from God. Elective abortion for personal or social convenience is contrary to the will and the commandments of God. Church members who submit to, perform, encourage, pay for, or arrange for such abortions may lose their membership in the Church."

What is life?  Life has been defined as the existence of an individual human being. When does life begin?

The controversy of Pro-Life vs. Pro-Choice has been debated for years. People have chosen sides and have strong reasons for believing what they believe about when life begins and a woman's choices regarding her own body.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny."

The quote that began this post is part of the LDS church's official position on Abortion. The last part "may lose their membership to the church," may seem harsh and brutal, but if you think about it, all choices have consequences. If you speed, you get a ticket. If you bully or smoke in school, you get suspended or even expelled. Just like in every case, though, there are exceptions. 

The LDS church's official position on abortion also states, "Church leaders have said that some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth.

However, the church's official position also says that these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion. "Those who face such circumstances should consider abortion only after consulting with their local Church leaders and receiving a confirmation through earnest prayer."

Finally, I would like to share this video of a young girl talking about abortion. This video raises the question, "If a 12 year old can understand the sanctity of human life, then why can't the rest of the world?"

Repentance and Forgiveness

This is probably one of the hardest topics I've had to write about it. Repentance and forgiveness have been a big part of my life. Like everyone, I'm not perfect. I've had a lot of hard times and trials that I have had to overcome, or am still working to overcome. 

Specifically, I have been working on this one thing for months now. I've had slip ups and continue to work to overcome this one certain challenge. I keep working to resist temptation. Repentance

We all sin. We all need to repent. Sometimes we sin because of ignorance, sometimes because of our weaknesses, and sometimes because of willful disobedience. In my case, sinning has been because of weakness. My favorite scripture for a long time has been Ether 12:27.

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

In a Primary lesson on Repentance, there are four steps listed of how to repent:

1) Feel sorry for what you have done
2) Ask for forgiveness (from your Heavenly Father and/or the person affected)
3) Right the wrong
4) Don't repeat the wrong.

About the Atonement, Bruce R. McConkie said,

“… There was no man ever born into this world that could have stood under the weight of the load that was upon the Son of God, when he was carrying my sins and yours and making it possible that we might escape from our sins”

Something that goes along with repentance is forgiveness. I think that forgiveness can be best shown by this Mormon Message. This is one of my favorite Mormon Messages. This car accident took place in Utah while I was visiting there. I remember seeing this on the news and hearing about it everywhere. 

I have learned, through my temptations and trials, that no one is perfect. EVERYONE sins and EVERYONE makes mistakes. We are so lucky, though, to have an amazing elder brother, Jesus Christ, who bore all of our burdens. He felt all of our pain, he atoned for our sins, so that we could live with our Heavenly Father again.

There is an amazing true story about the atonement that I would strongly encourage that you read. Here is the link: Donuts and the Atonement

 

Adoption ♥

"Adopting a child will be one of the most important decisions you make during your lifetime, as well as possibly being the single biggest decision in the life of the child. Study it out in your minds, then seek a confirmation of the Spirit through fasting and prayer. With all your hearts, counsel with the Lord."

                     NOVEMBER IS NATIONAL ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH!!! 

I would like to share, for this blog post, my aunt's story in adopting her two daughters, in her own words.

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Finding out that, as a couple, you are infertile, is a devastating moment. Hopes and dreams are destroyed and Faith is tested. Giving birth to children and wanting a forever family is a righteous desire. When is doesn't happen and you accept it will NEVER happen, many things may happen. This is what happened to me: I felt broken, alienated from church, family and friends.

I had been married in 1992 and for 2 1/2 years, had had every test possible performed on me, only to find out in the end that it was my ex-husband that was infertile. I am the type of person that can quickly accept a diagnosis, and move on to a solution. He was not. 

After being married for another 2 1/2 years, we finally started the adoption process. The amount of paperwork was staggering! This was before everything was done online. Writing letters to potential birth mothers and making picture collages was nerve wracking. I second guessed everything I did. Every sentence, every picture. And then there was the wait.... Year after year.

In May, 2002, we found out there was an anonymous friend of my ex-husband's family that wanted to help us get a baby. He couldn't believe it was taking to so long with LDS Family Services. He offered to pay for an adoption if we went international, where it is pretty much guaranteed you end up with a child. We graciously accepted and quickly started international paperwork to adopt from China. Many things were already ready and only needed to be updated.

Miracles really do happen, because in September 2002, 4 months after we had decided to go ahead with the international adoption, we finally heard from a birth mother who had chosen us to adopt her baby. We continued with BOTH adoptions after that. 

Grace was born in Utah in January 2003. We were to go to China in the Fall of 2003, but the outbreak of SARS happened in China and all adoptions stopped for 6 months.

Megan was born in March of 2003, and once the paperwork was moving again, we went to China in May 2004 to pick her up. At that time, Grace was 16 months old and Megan was 14 months old.

They are both now almost 13 years old.

I often think of the trials and struggles through those years. I am now ALMOST (but not quite!) grateful for them. It eventually did build my Faith, made me more empathetic, and gained the knowledge that God knows who I am and what I feel. He loves me and will always comfort me in my times of need. 

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I am so grateful for my aunt and her faith, courage, and determination during her journey to becoming a mother. I am also extremely grateful for my cousins. Now that I am going to school at BYU-Idaho in Rexburg, I am close to them, and get to see them and hang out with them often! They are amazing, smart, talented, funny girls who I know will grow up to be amazing women just like their mother!

Finally, here is an awesome Mormon Message about a young woman who chose adoption for her daughter.

"Be Fruitful, and Multiply and Replenish the Earth"

Genesis 1:28 "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth"

Some people might think that this commandment was only given to Adam and Eve. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, as well as many other Christian faiths in the world, believe that God intended this commandment for all people, in all times. 

According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention), 2014 was the first time in seven years that the United States' birthrate went up (by 1%). Though, this is still too low for the childbearing generation to replace itself. So, why aren't more people having children?

An article in The Atlantic, titled "Why Women Choose Not To Have Children," it is stated that 

Not having children is a perfectly rational and reasonable response given that humans are essentially parasites on the face of a perfectly lovely and well-balanced planet, plowing through its natural resources, eradicating its endangered species, and ruining its most wonderful landscapes.

The majority of studies show that people are not having children because a) they are focusing on their careers and feel that that is more important, b) they cannot afford to have children, and/or c) they don't feel the desire/need to have children.

Here's a video where the costs of having children are discussed:

Ultimately, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that the privilege, not the choice, to have children is sacred. The number of children that you have should be an ongoing discussion between you, your spouse, and the Lord. 

The world is already heavily influencing us on how to dress, what is cool, and what will make us happy. Why let them tell you how many children is “right?” The world doesn’t know you. The world doesn’t know what you are capable of. The world doesn’t know how much love you have to give to the amazing gift that a child is. Only YOU truly know what you are capable of, and even if you aren’t 100% sure yet, Heavenly Father knows and that is all that matters. So whether you have 2 kids, or 12, don't let the world put you down for the size of your family. Be happy that you have what you have and know that it is all for a reason and a divine purpose.

What I Learned from my Dad!

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families."-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

One of the games that my roommates and I love to play is the one where you say a word, and the other people have to say the first word that they think of. So, I did this activity with some people I know where I asked them what the first word that came to their mind was when I said the word "Dad" or "Father." 

Some of the words that were said included:

• protection
• strong
• wise
• kind
• appreciated
• cool
• courageous
• considerate
• loved

The one thing I will always remember, that my dad instilled in me from an early age, is a strong work ethic. Our family motto was "We work before we play." This is something that I have followed my entire life. I've always been able to prioritize my time, (though it's gotten harder in college) doing my homework before doing fun things, like watching Netflix or going to social events.

One of my favorite quotes about fathers is by L. Tom Perry. 

"Next to eternal life, the greatest of all gifts that our Father in Heaven can bestow on a man is the opportunity of being blessed with sons and daughters."

I found this amazing Mormon Message about fathers, and how blessed we are to have both an earthly father and a heavenly father. 

To conclude, I would like to share a story that my dad shared with me. He loves collecting inspirational thoughts and stories, and this is one of his favorites from his collection. That is one thing that I love and admire about my dad. Whenever I am feeling down, he sends me a thought or a story that is just what I need!

My Big Brother

When I was just a small child, I had a favorite big brother. He was great to me. He'd put his big arm around me and we'd go scampering down some cool dirt path. At times like this I felt ten feet tall. He didn't seem to mind me tagging along one bit, and there was nothing I liked better. 

I was so proud of him! When I was with him I felt like I was beaming stronger than the sun. He was good at everything. I never could seem to match the mountains he made out of sand. Mine always seemed to crumble and sag, but his would stand as firm as the Rocky Mountains. 

Dad always tried not to show how proud he was of him...him being the oldest and all, but his smile always seemed to be a bit brighter when my big brother came around. 

I felt that my world had collapsed when he went on his mission. Dad and Mom both had to fight back the tears. He called Dad and Mom regularly and let us know how much he loved us. He even told us about how great his mission was, so Mom wouldn't worry. 

The persecution was really bad there as the church was just getting started. But he never seemed to let himself get down, even though the people wouldn't believe his message. We'd all share in his joy when he'd get some new converts, but I don't mind saying that I was scared that the nonbelievers would do something to him. It even got to the point where men were plotting to take his life. But Dad never seemed to be worried for some reason. 

Then one day we received word that his mission had ended, but not as most men's do. I was struck by the terrifying news. 

They finally got hold of my brother. The big brother that I had played with. The one who never seemed capable of doing anything wrong. My big brother who loved everyone he knew, and who most everyone loved. 

They beat him and mocked him. He suffered all they did to him without striking back. Why would anyone want to hurt my big brother? I couldn't understand. 

A mob took him to a hill just outside of town, and spitting on him, they nailed him alive to a cross. My soul moaned as I heard that he begged father to forgive them. Racked with unbearable pain, he gave up his life for what he believed. My big brother, my king, my idol was dead. I cried though what seemed to be the darkest day of my life. Where was my big brother with whom I had shaped mountains of sand? Why did he of all my brothers have to die like this? 

Time passed and I was called on my mission. Sometimes I forget what happened so long ago, but every Sunday a small piece of bread and a small cup of water remind me of what my big brother did for me and assures me that he yet lives.

A Shout-Out to Moms ♥

A miracle is really the only way to describe motherhood and giving birth. It's unbelievable how God has made us women and babies to endure and be able to do so much. A miracle, indeed. Such an incredible blessing. ~Jennie Finch

For this post, I decided to interview some of my friends and roommates and ask them what they admire about their mothers, as well as what their mothers have taught them. These are some of their responses!

Carly-I admire my mother because she works hard and is willing to serve anyone and everyone. She taught me skills that I can use in my future home, such as cooking, sewing, and cleaning. Basically everything I know, I have learned from my mother.

 Erin-I definitely admire my mom for her hard work. She is constantly go go go and is the most selfless person I've ever met. And she's taught me to love myself and never forget who I truly am.

Taylor-Well one, my mom is super smart. She has her masters and has always worked hard. I admire her for going and getting a degree even though she had kids. And she taught me to work hard, because nothing comes without a solid effort. 

Marleis-I love that my mother was always there to support me. When I was in sports, she was there cheering me on. She was always there for me in band. My mother has taught me to be a good supporter of my friends and family. She has also taught me to always be kind and generous. 

Cheralyn-My mom has always been smart, strong and outgoing. I really admire those qualities about her. Also she has always put her family first and been fiercely loyal to us. She taught me that being a mother isn't about raising your kids only until they're adults and move away, she is still always there for me to help and guide me with anything. I learned from her example that no matter what, you never give up on your kids. 

Now I want to talk about my mom. Since I was little, she always focused on teaching me. Thanks to her (and my sister), I learned to read at an early age. I remember her always reading books with me. That is one of my favorite memories with my mom growing up. She has taught me how to love unconditionally. I admire the fact that she always has put her family's needs before her own. She is the definition of selfless. My mom also works so hard. She has a full-time job, and still manages to get meals on the table, fulfill her church calling, and help manage the household. To me, she is a superhero!

Finally, I found this amazing video called, "Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God." In it, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland shares an encouraging tribute to mothers.

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage, What Next?

President Hinckley has said, "If you are married, you and your spouse should discuss your sacred responsibility to bring children into the world and nurture them in righteousness.

For those married couples who are physically able, it is a spiritual obligation as well as a joy with subsequent blessings to bear and rear children.

I found this awesome video on LDS.org that I really thought fit perfectly with this post.

A family that used to live in my ward, but who moved away several years ago, have always been, to me, an example of including the Lord in the decision of having children. The mother of this family was great enough to share some of her experiences with me, and to allow me to share them on this blog.

Growing up I always wanted a big family.  I planned on 12 kids after I read "Cheaper by the Dozen".  All the guys I dated I asked how many kids they wanted which would help me decide if they would get a 2nd date.  My husband had a great answer (which is one of the reasons I married him!).... he said he would have as many kids as the Lord saw fit to send to His family.  We decided from the beginning that we would trust in the Lord's plan for us and just have faith.  After a 12 hour labor with my first baby my husband gently asked if I still wanted a dozen kids.  I surprised him when I answered that I was ready for another one!  Our 2nd baby was born 15 months later.  With 2 little ones I was a bit overwhelmed and prayed that I wouldn't get pregnant until I felt ready (I didn't trust very much in birth control).  Each baby that joined our family came right when they were supposed to.  We happily welcomed each new child, and always felt that the Lord was guiding us in our decisions.  

I teach piano and violin lessons, and many of my students are not members of my faith.  One girl once told me that her mom thought we had so many children because it would buy us into heaven.  I thought it was really funny.  It was a good chance to talk to her a little bit about my religion.  My husband had a secretary years ago with 8 children.  After their 8th baby they really struggled with knowing when to stop having more children.  They decided to drive to Salt Lake and talk to a General Authority about their dilemma.  They had to sit for several hours in a waiting room before they had a chance to talk to one of the General Authorities (wish I could remember who it was they talked to).  They told him of their struggle and wondered if he could help them decide what to do.  He turned a picture of his family around that had only 2 children.  He told them that decision was only between the 2 of them and the Lord.  No-one else could give them that answer.  

For most of our marriage I had felt like we would have 10 kids.  I don't know how to explain it, but it was almost like I felt those 10 kids with me even before they all came to our family.  After our 9th baby my body was so worn out.  I was tired.  My oldest daughter was starting her senior year.  It felt like the right time to say that we were done.  But even using 3 forms of birth control I ended up getting pregnant.  It was the only surprise we had, and I wasn't very happy about it.  The thought of being pregnant was unbearable!  I thought my kids would be embarrassed and mad about it.  My husband and I gathered our kids around and told them we were having another baby.  Our son (age 15 at the time) was the first to respond, and he yelped an enthusiastic "Yes!".  Everyone was so happy that we couldn't help but feel so blessed and excited about the new baby coming.  

When we had our ultrasound the way the technician reacted let us know something was wrong.  We were told our baby had one arm and some severe heart defects as well as some cysts on the brain that led them to believe was a trisomy defect.  We were devastated only because we were so afraid that we were now attached to this little boy and there was a huge chance he wouldn't survive long past childbirth.  I received many blessings and put my trust in the Lord.  We felt that everything would be fine somehow.  Miraculously our baby was born perfectly healthy!  The issues in his heart and brain were somehow repaired, and it seems the technician had just not seen the other arm.  We felt so blessed, but we knew that we would have loved him just as much if there had been problems too.  We were reminded that the Lord was aware of us and that He was in charge.  We had plans, but the Lord had a better plan for us!  

We have very rarely had anyone say negative things about our large family.  People are often very curious and ask a lot of questions, but we get a lot of positive responses about our family.  My kids actually think it's really fun when we all go places to watch people count all the kids and stare at us.  They have never been embarrassed about it, and in fact they love having so many best friends.  There's always someone to play with, and always something fun going on!  

This amazing family!

Equality through Diversity

The definition of equality is, "the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities." 

The Family: A Proclamation to the World states,

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

My favorite talk on this topic, entitled "Equality through Diversity" was given by M. Russell Ballard in October 1993. I've included the link and the video clip of the talk here, and I encourage anyone reading this post to go read and watch the talk. It is incredible.

Elder Ballard is speaking to the women of the church. He says, "I pray for the Spirit of the Lord this evening as I teach a fundamental principle of the gospel that, if understood, will fortify and bless you sisters in your quest for eternal life."

Now, I'd like to share a few of my favorite quotes from the talk.

"Our Father in Heaven loves all of His children equally, perfectly, and infinitely. His love is no different for His daughters than for His sons. Our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, also loves men and women equally. His atonement and His gospel are for all of God’s children. During His earthly ministry Jesus served men and women alike: He healed both men and women and He taught both men and women."

"Even though men and women are equal before God in their eternal opportunities, they have different, but equally significant, duties in His eternal plan. We must understand that God views all of His children with infinite wisdom and perfect fairness. Consequently, He can acknowledge and even encourage our differences while providing equal opportunity for growth and development."

"Our Heavenly Father assigned different responsibilities in mortality to men and women when we lived with Him as His spirit sons and daughters. To His sons He would give the priesthood and the responsibilities of fatherhood, and to His daughters He gave the responsibilities of motherhood, each with its attendant functions. "

In today's society, organizations like Ordain Women, believe that women should be allowed to hold the priesthood. They believe that it is unfair and unequal that only men can have the priesthood. As Elder Ballard explained so long ago, Heavenly Father does not favor one gender over the other. Both men and women were given specific duties and responsibilities in regards to their roles in the family. It is by divine design that Heavenly Father gave us these roles: for men to have the priesthood and for women to raise and nurture children. 

Gordon B. Hinckley said, 

"Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world...The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.”

Mawwiage. (AKA, Put a Ring On It!) ♥

Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove.

That was just a funny introduction to today's blog topic: MARRIAGE! Since I am currently a student at the university lovingly referred to as "BYU-I Do" I thought this would be a good thing to talk about!

My textbook, Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives says, 

"Marriage is a purposeful, divinely created relationship, not merely a social custom, and that couples have God-given covenant obligations to one another."

As an assignment for my class on the family, I had to interview two couples who seem to have a healthy and vibrant marriage. I had to ask them a few questions, and I would like to share some of their insightful responses with you.

Question #1-What have you done to be so effective in your marriage?

• Couple #1-Open communication, done with charity. Listening for understanding. Having similar spiritual, financial, family, and professional goals. Being equal partners in the marriage and in raising the children

• Couple #2-Marital bliss does not just happen. It is intentional, on both ends. It is impossible for one partner to pull all the weight. Making sure to choose a good companion is pretty vital and making sure to be a good companion yourself is so important. We try to make sure that we are being considerate of each other while making sure that we are doing the things to care for ourselves. I think it is easy to get so wrapped up in the care of others that we forget to make sure that we are personally doing well.

Question #2-How have each of you grown and changed as a result of your marriage?

• Couple #1-A covenant marriage has been very successful in helping us cast aside, more often than not, our own personal desires and wants in order to improve the quality of our marriage and our family. Also, we’ve both been able to learn from each other’s good qualities and see them firsthand in order to better implement into our discipleship.

• Couple #2-Marriage actually really helped me to be more financially conservative as well. When I was single I only answered to myself. I was not as careful with my spending. Once we got married, each dollar was shared and I felt a great responsibility to be frugal. We have also learned to really put what matters first as first.

Question #3-What do you feel are the MOST IMPORTANT things people should know about marriage before they decided to get married?

• Couple #1-This is an eternal commitment and problems faced need to be viewed from that perspective. Prayerful consideration and eternal perspective are absolutely essential in solving all the problems that will be faced in your marriage.

• Couple #1 (cont.)-Most youth create a list of qualities they want in their future spouse. Another, just as important list, is the things that you absolutely do not want in your future spouse. This way, falling in love won’t cause you to settle for something less than you want and deserve. Also, remember that you are not looking for perfection…you are looking for someone with whom you can walk towards perfection hand-in-hand with the Savior.

• Couple #2-Don't settle. I call it the project syndrome. It's when you look at someone with "potential" and you try to perfect them. A real spouse has already prepared themselves. They are not nearly perfect, but they are truly trying. I would also say that they need to become who they want to marry.I think people shouldn't have an unrealistic idea of marriage....including financially, emotionally, and in intimacy.They need to really understand it and work through the small problems,

• Couple #2 (cont.)-I think it is important to talk and make sure that you are both on the same page on things of importance before marriage: Do you want children? Will someone stay home with them? Do you intend to honor your covenants? That kind of stuff. It sounds kind of obvious, but I have seen spouses that have been surprised after marriage and it is not a good thing.

I am so grateful for the responses I got from these two couples. I learned a lot from them and they are all role models for me!

Finally, I would like to end this post with a quote from Elder F. Burton Howard. He said,

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by. Eternal marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way."