For those married couples who are physically able, it is a spiritual obligation as well as a joy with subsequent blessings to bear and rear children.
I found this awesome video on LDS.org that I really thought fit perfectly with this post.
A family that used to live in my ward, but who moved away several years ago, have always been, to me, an example of including the Lord in the decision of having children. The mother of this family was great enough to share some of her experiences with me, and to allow me to share them on this blog.
Growing up I always wanted a big family. I planned on 12 kids after I read "Cheaper by the Dozen". All the guys I dated I asked how many kids they wanted which would help me decide if they would get a 2nd date. My husband had a great answer (which is one of the reasons I married him!).... he said he would have as many kids as the Lord saw fit to send to His family. We decided from the beginning that we would trust in the Lord's plan for us and just have faith. After a 12 hour labor with my first baby my husband gently asked if I still wanted a dozen kids. I surprised him when I answered that I was ready for another one! Our 2nd baby was born 15 months later. With 2 little ones I was a bit overwhelmed and prayed that I wouldn't get pregnant until I felt ready (I didn't trust very much in birth control). Each baby that joined our family came right when they were supposed to. We happily welcomed each new child, and always felt that the Lord was guiding us in our decisions.
I teach piano and violin lessons, and many of my students are not members of my faith. One girl once told me that her mom thought we had so many children because it would buy us into heaven. I thought it was really funny. It was a good chance to talk to her a little bit about my religion. My husband had a secretary years ago with 8 children. After their 8th baby they really struggled with knowing when to stop having more children. They decided to drive to Salt Lake and talk to a General Authority about their dilemma. They had to sit for several hours in a waiting room before they had a chance to talk to one of the General Authorities (wish I could remember who it was they talked to). They told him of their struggle and wondered if he could help them decide what to do. He turned a picture of his family around that had only 2 children. He told them that decision was only between the 2 of them and the Lord. No-one else could give them that answer.
For most of our marriage I had felt like we would have 10 kids. I don't know how to explain it, but it was almost like I felt those 10 kids with me even before they all came to our family. After our 9th baby my body was so worn out. I was tired. My oldest daughter was starting her senior year. It felt like the right time to say that we were done. But even using 3 forms of birth control I ended up getting pregnant. It was the only surprise we had, and I wasn't very happy about it. The thought of being pregnant was unbearable! I thought my kids would be embarrassed and mad about it. My husband and I gathered our kids around and told them we were having another baby. Our son (age 15 at the time) was the first to respond, and he yelped an enthusiastic "Yes!". Everyone was so happy that we couldn't help but feel so blessed and excited about the new baby coming.
When we had our ultrasound the way the technician reacted let us know something was wrong. We were told our baby had one arm and some severe heart defects as well as some cysts on the brain that led them to believe was a trisomy defect. We were devastated only because we were so afraid that we were now attached to this little boy and there was a huge chance he wouldn't survive long past childbirth. I received many blessings and put my trust in the Lord. We felt that everything would be fine somehow. Miraculously our baby was born perfectly healthy! The issues in his heart and brain were somehow repaired, and it seems the technician had just not seen the other arm. We felt so blessed, but we knew that we would have loved him just as much if there had been problems too. We were reminded that the Lord was aware of us and that He was in charge. We had plans, but the Lord had a better plan for us!
We have very rarely had anyone say negative things about our large family. People are often very curious and ask a lot of questions, but we get a lot of positive responses about our family. My kids actually think it's really fun when we all go places to watch people count all the kids and stare at us. They have never been embarrassed about it, and in fact they love having so many best friends. There's always someone to play with, and always something fun going on!
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| This amazing family! |
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