Mawwiage. (AKA, Put a Ring On It!) ♥

Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah and evah… So tweasuwe youw wove.

That was just a funny introduction to today's blog topic: MARRIAGE! Since I am currently a student at the university lovingly referred to as "BYU-I Do" I thought this would be a good thing to talk about!

My textbook, Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives says, 

"Marriage is a purposeful, divinely created relationship, not merely a social custom, and that couples have God-given covenant obligations to one another."

As an assignment for my class on the family, I had to interview two couples who seem to have a healthy and vibrant marriage. I had to ask them a few questions, and I would like to share some of their insightful responses with you.

Question #1-What have you done to be so effective in your marriage?

• Couple #1-Open communication, done with charity. Listening for understanding. Having similar spiritual, financial, family, and professional goals. Being equal partners in the marriage and in raising the children

• Couple #2-Marital bliss does not just happen. It is intentional, on both ends. It is impossible for one partner to pull all the weight. Making sure to choose a good companion is pretty vital and making sure to be a good companion yourself is so important. We try to make sure that we are being considerate of each other while making sure that we are doing the things to care for ourselves. I think it is easy to get so wrapped up in the care of others that we forget to make sure that we are personally doing well.

Question #2-How have each of you grown and changed as a result of your marriage?

• Couple #1-A covenant marriage has been very successful in helping us cast aside, more often than not, our own personal desires and wants in order to improve the quality of our marriage and our family. Also, we’ve both been able to learn from each other’s good qualities and see them firsthand in order to better implement into our discipleship.

• Couple #2-Marriage actually really helped me to be more financially conservative as well. When I was single I only answered to myself. I was not as careful with my spending. Once we got married, each dollar was shared and I felt a great responsibility to be frugal. We have also learned to really put what matters first as first.

Question #3-What do you feel are the MOST IMPORTANT things people should know about marriage before they decided to get married?

• Couple #1-This is an eternal commitment and problems faced need to be viewed from that perspective. Prayerful consideration and eternal perspective are absolutely essential in solving all the problems that will be faced in your marriage.

• Couple #1 (cont.)-Most youth create a list of qualities they want in their future spouse. Another, just as important list, is the things that you absolutely do not want in your future spouse. This way, falling in love won’t cause you to settle for something less than you want and deserve. Also, remember that you are not looking for perfection…you are looking for someone with whom you can walk towards perfection hand-in-hand with the Savior.

• Couple #2-Don't settle. I call it the project syndrome. It's when you look at someone with "potential" and you try to perfect them. A real spouse has already prepared themselves. They are not nearly perfect, but they are truly trying. I would also say that they need to become who they want to marry.I think people shouldn't have an unrealistic idea of marriage....including financially, emotionally, and in intimacy.They need to really understand it and work through the small problems,

• Couple #2 (cont.)-I think it is important to talk and make sure that you are both on the same page on things of importance before marriage: Do you want children? Will someone stay home with them? Do you intend to honor your covenants? That kind of stuff. It sounds kind of obvious, but I have seen spouses that have been surprised after marriage and it is not a good thing.

I am so grateful for the responses I got from these two couples. I learned a lot from them and they are all role models for me!

Finally, I would like to end this post with a quote from Elder F. Burton Howard. He said,

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by. Eternal marriage is just like that. We need to treat it just that way."