Adoption ♥

"Adopting a child will be one of the most important decisions you make during your lifetime, as well as possibly being the single biggest decision in the life of the child. Study it out in your minds, then seek a confirmation of the Spirit through fasting and prayer. With all your hearts, counsel with the Lord."

                     NOVEMBER IS NATIONAL ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH!!! 

I would like to share, for this blog post, my aunt's story in adopting her two daughters, in her own words.

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Finding out that, as a couple, you are infertile, is a devastating moment. Hopes and dreams are destroyed and Faith is tested. Giving birth to children and wanting a forever family is a righteous desire. When is doesn't happen and you accept it will NEVER happen, many things may happen. This is what happened to me: I felt broken, alienated from church, family and friends.

I had been married in 1992 and for 2 1/2 years, had had every test possible performed on me, only to find out in the end that it was my ex-husband that was infertile. I am the type of person that can quickly accept a diagnosis, and move on to a solution. He was not. 

After being married for another 2 1/2 years, we finally started the adoption process. The amount of paperwork was staggering! This was before everything was done online. Writing letters to potential birth mothers and making picture collages was nerve wracking. I second guessed everything I did. Every sentence, every picture. And then there was the wait.... Year after year.

In May, 2002, we found out there was an anonymous friend of my ex-husband's family that wanted to help us get a baby. He couldn't believe it was taking to so long with LDS Family Services. He offered to pay for an adoption if we went international, where it is pretty much guaranteed you end up with a child. We graciously accepted and quickly started international paperwork to adopt from China. Many things were already ready and only needed to be updated.

Miracles really do happen, because in September 2002, 4 months after we had decided to go ahead with the international adoption, we finally heard from a birth mother who had chosen us to adopt her baby. We continued with BOTH adoptions after that. 

Grace was born in Utah in January 2003. We were to go to China in the Fall of 2003, but the outbreak of SARS happened in China and all adoptions stopped for 6 months.

Megan was born in March of 2003, and once the paperwork was moving again, we went to China in May 2004 to pick her up. At that time, Grace was 16 months old and Megan was 14 months old.

They are both now almost 13 years old.

I often think of the trials and struggles through those years. I am now ALMOST (but not quite!) grateful for them. It eventually did build my Faith, made me more empathetic, and gained the knowledge that God knows who I am and what I feel. He loves me and will always comfort me in my times of need. 

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I am so grateful for my aunt and her faith, courage, and determination during her journey to becoming a mother. I am also extremely grateful for my cousins. Now that I am going to school at BYU-Idaho in Rexburg, I am close to them, and get to see them and hang out with them often! They are amazing, smart, talented, funny girls who I know will grow up to be amazing women just like their mother!

Finally, here is an awesome Mormon Message about a young woman who chose adoption for her daughter.

"Be Fruitful, and Multiply and Replenish the Earth"

Genesis 1:28 "And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth"

Some people might think that this commandment was only given to Adam and Eve. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, as well as many other Christian faiths in the world, believe that God intended this commandment for all people, in all times. 

According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention), 2014 was the first time in seven years that the United States' birthrate went up (by 1%). Though, this is still too low for the childbearing generation to replace itself. So, why aren't more people having children?

An article in The Atlantic, titled "Why Women Choose Not To Have Children," it is stated that 

Not having children is a perfectly rational and reasonable response given that humans are essentially parasites on the face of a perfectly lovely and well-balanced planet, plowing through its natural resources, eradicating its endangered species, and ruining its most wonderful landscapes.

The majority of studies show that people are not having children because a) they are focusing on their careers and feel that that is more important, b) they cannot afford to have children, and/or c) they don't feel the desire/need to have children.

Here's a video where the costs of having children are discussed:

Ultimately, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, we believe that the privilege, not the choice, to have children is sacred. The number of children that you have should be an ongoing discussion between you, your spouse, and the Lord. 

The world is already heavily influencing us on how to dress, what is cool, and what will make us happy. Why let them tell you how many children is “right?” The world doesn’t know you. The world doesn’t know what you are capable of. The world doesn’t know how much love you have to give to the amazing gift that a child is. Only YOU truly know what you are capable of, and even if you aren’t 100% sure yet, Heavenly Father knows and that is all that matters. So whether you have 2 kids, or 12, don't let the world put you down for the size of your family. Be happy that you have what you have and know that it is all for a reason and a divine purpose.

What I Learned from my Dad!

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families."-The Family: A Proclamation to the World

One of the games that my roommates and I love to play is the one where you say a word, and the other people have to say the first word that they think of. So, I did this activity with some people I know where I asked them what the first word that came to their mind was when I said the word "Dad" or "Father." 

Some of the words that were said included:

• protection
• strong
• wise
• kind
• appreciated
• cool
• courageous
• considerate
• loved

The one thing I will always remember, that my dad instilled in me from an early age, is a strong work ethic. Our family motto was "We work before we play." This is something that I have followed my entire life. I've always been able to prioritize my time, (though it's gotten harder in college) doing my homework before doing fun things, like watching Netflix or going to social events.

One of my favorite quotes about fathers is by L. Tom Perry. 

"Next to eternal life, the greatest of all gifts that our Father in Heaven can bestow on a man is the opportunity of being blessed with sons and daughters."

I found this amazing Mormon Message about fathers, and how blessed we are to have both an earthly father and a heavenly father. 

To conclude, I would like to share a story that my dad shared with me. He loves collecting inspirational thoughts and stories, and this is one of his favorites from his collection. That is one thing that I love and admire about my dad. Whenever I am feeling down, he sends me a thought or a story that is just what I need!

My Big Brother

When I was just a small child, I had a favorite big brother. He was great to me. He'd put his big arm around me and we'd go scampering down some cool dirt path. At times like this I felt ten feet tall. He didn't seem to mind me tagging along one bit, and there was nothing I liked better. 

I was so proud of him! When I was with him I felt like I was beaming stronger than the sun. He was good at everything. I never could seem to match the mountains he made out of sand. Mine always seemed to crumble and sag, but his would stand as firm as the Rocky Mountains. 

Dad always tried not to show how proud he was of him...him being the oldest and all, but his smile always seemed to be a bit brighter when my big brother came around. 

I felt that my world had collapsed when he went on his mission. Dad and Mom both had to fight back the tears. He called Dad and Mom regularly and let us know how much he loved us. He even told us about how great his mission was, so Mom wouldn't worry. 

The persecution was really bad there as the church was just getting started. But he never seemed to let himself get down, even though the people wouldn't believe his message. We'd all share in his joy when he'd get some new converts, but I don't mind saying that I was scared that the nonbelievers would do something to him. It even got to the point where men were plotting to take his life. But Dad never seemed to be worried for some reason. 

Then one day we received word that his mission had ended, but not as most men's do. I was struck by the terrifying news. 

They finally got hold of my brother. The big brother that I had played with. The one who never seemed capable of doing anything wrong. My big brother who loved everyone he knew, and who most everyone loved. 

They beat him and mocked him. He suffered all they did to him without striking back. Why would anyone want to hurt my big brother? I couldn't understand. 

A mob took him to a hill just outside of town, and spitting on him, they nailed him alive to a cross. My soul moaned as I heard that he begged father to forgive them. Racked with unbearable pain, he gave up his life for what he believed. My big brother, my king, my idol was dead. I cried though what seemed to be the darkest day of my life. Where was my big brother with whom I had shaped mountains of sand? Why did he of all my brothers have to die like this? 

Time passed and I was called on my mission. Sometimes I forget what happened so long ago, but every Sunday a small piece of bread and a small cup of water remind me of what my big brother did for me and assures me that he yet lives.